AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER 1/B

Her ways

One Sunday morning the Irish nuns took us kids to attend at Mass. My place happened to be close to a statue of Mother Mary all dressed in black.   She had teardrops running over her cheeks and seven swords piercing her heart. 

 

 She looked so sad... I could not move my eyes from that pale and sad face...I well knew the tragedy of her sorrow and how deep it could be...  me too was shedding sorrowful tears for the same reason... she had lost her son, I had lost my mother... we were summoned in that almost unbearable sadness... she was as distressed as I was...

Then, a silent voice aroused from that child heart of mine telling her: Oh little Mother... how I wish to take those swords out of your heart!..

 A single golden, transparent ray came forth from her heart touching mine and at once my wounded heart was literally cauterized,  all my sadness had gone and at its place there was a scarf on my heart. 

 A five years old child cannot understand Mother's ways,  I trusted I could talk to her much as to an earthly mother and could receive an answer, I trusted  I could establish a personal relation with her, so it was but natural to me  when five years later, now ten years old I run to kneel at a picture of her asking for immediate help. 

There were blood running down my legs, they were simply piles but I was horrorized and insistently called her for help. Seeing that no answer came I run to the kitchen took some chickpeas and back, I knelt on them, in that way I meant her that "my call was -really- an emergency" and I was expecting her to answer me...While so knelt and never ceasing to say: Oh Mother please, please help me! I heard a strange sound at my back as little trumpets and then an incredibly sweet and caring feminine voice spoke to me, calling me by my name and motherly saying to stand up now. I was petrified in earing the sudden voice and I actually couldn't move at all... I was overwhelmed by panic in thinking that if I turned my head  I could see her, but I had to do something... I could not remain any longer on that painful position so after a while I turned my head a bit and in seeing that nobody was there anymore I took back the chickpeas to the kitchen. You can see how ungrateful I was because in both cases I never said a word of thanks!.. Whenever your difficulties are too heavy to bear do pray her, be immediate and insistent as a child would be, She can't resist that call.

When the divinity itself intervenes into your life compelled by a call, you will never be the same again, a mark has been posed on your soul, you have become one of "her own".

 That happened to me, mean time I had the least monastic aspiration growing up instead as a rebel - an anarcho spiritualist of a kind-, an artist and a poet till my twenties when I happened to read the "Autobiography of a yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda. Yogananda described how himself and other indian yogis had had experiences with the divine Mother, me too had some in my youth but I had completely forgot them... The author awoke in me a renewed need to be in touch with her. Without me noticing it, the  divine sound of her voice was carved in my soul where I could still hear it...  She had been patient, waiting for me to remember her again...  

  

AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHER 1/A

Discipleship at the feet of the Mother.

It is difficult to understand my relation with the divine Mother without knowing the actual events which led to it. I do not present them in this series to let you know how good I am at that, or how pious and submitted my character is, but to let you know that it can become a Presence in -your- life too if you were convinced it to be a remote option in your life and only by great effort and by a titanic character  this could be achieved. 

Really, the Mother is a close presence in everything that exists in this universe which literally permeates with her presence, so she is everywhere and within ourselves too.

She is the Mother of the universe, the divine Shakti of the rishi, and when you are led to her presence -as She does sometimes- as the formless Goddess which is  eternal Bliss, Light and Power behind imagination, when you see the aquamarine energy pervading the whole universe, when you see her overwhelming core of white and golden light flowing from the divine planes as a cascade into the material universe, you cannot hold any doubt about it and say with the rishi "She is the eternal Shakti and Mother of the universe, to Her our praises". 

Her greatest mystery is how she can be both a forever unreachable and inconceivable divinity and yet a close and intimate figure in ourselves ready to answer our call for help, or greeting our offerings of devotion. Actually, she seems literally craving for the human heart to recognize her, after all, it is her purpose for us here to be conscious of her presence in our life and become a conscious instrument into her hands.

 One day the human species as a whole will recognize and live her presence, She herself will come on earth as an immortal being uplifting the human march towards paths of immortality. At that moment life on earth underwent an inconceivable transformation, the greatest part of the world population was involved with an healthy, balanced and spiritual life as well as in their environment, and Her immortal presence on earth would be of a tremendous impact  worldwide, She literally will drive a line between "before" and "after"  her coming in human history, she would consecrate the planet as one of her accepted and recognized disciples.

But now, today, when those far off events are still beyond sight, where is her hand and how we can make of her an intimate figure?  As she would say: "When it seems that I abandon you it is still my secret hand that leads you and that your eyes cannot see".

 So, it is not that she is not here but simply that -we- cannot perceive her, and to do that we need to get rid of the weight of a complicated character becoming as simple as possible, with an elastic, free and light intelligence able to perceive what otherwise remains conceived at our sight.

Her etheric aquamarine light is so powerful that great masses of water, oceans, sky and vegetation are coloured by that inner light  assuming hues of green and blue as a reflection of her presence.  Her prodigal and generous hand is within the tiny seed of wheat that when is sown gives plenty of seeds , her abundance is everywhere and everything tries to produce at its best, just because everything has the mother purpose within which leads to a plentiful life. 

If a little seed of wheat  is so generous to almost feed a human being when it is sown,   how much more generous should be a human being, much bigger and intelligent than a seed? And yet the human nature is so reluctant to fulfil this essential drive in everything that exists and surely, the blindness impeding us to see and feel the mother hand is proportional to the lack of generosity we demonstrate in our own life, both at individual and collective level. 

So, the degree of our generosity will always mark our real level, to us it should be as a mirror at the moment of analysing our character, if we lack of generosity or we display a mild proof of it, we do not really partecipe of the universal drive  towards abundance and delight, our  material riches and the artificial joy we obtain by them are but a surrogate of the real abundance which   is also sharing abundantly. 

The level of a State can be understood for the care it shows for the welfare of its own citizens, and when nations or coalition of nations withhold the right to a reasonable living of other nations, that too is at a larger scale what happens into a mean heart, unable and unwilling to flourish in abundance and freely sharing it.

So we should not be surprised when the hand of the Mother seems too far from sight, and yet even than, is only her purpose we fulfil but partially and imperfectly, and to her command only our life has to give immediate answer.

 When She calls either for good or worse, there is nothing we can do but answer and obey willingly or unwillingly. Only for a season she tolerates and allows us playing and entertaining ourselves with her toys, soon or later her transforming call has to be answered if we have to fulfil the very purpose of our presence here, if it remains unanswered or postponed, for a healing purpose we certainly will have to submit at her law for such cases, and if She is a Mother of life and abundance, She is the Great Kali too, destroying and reshaping her creation. 

For a human being, willing to follow her ways of abundance instead of those of destruction and decay  is not only a privilege, but a wise choice because her hand can be as abundant in giving as heavy and trying in her lessons.